The Hot Ones
by cassfear84
Summary: SUMMARY: The story is based on songs by the Argentinean band Babasónicos. It tells the story of how Sirius Black and Severus Snape ended up together. Slash and lots of OoC-ness, totally weird! You've been warned!
1. Chapter 1: Without my devil

**SUMMARY:** The story is based on songs by the Argentinean band Babasónicos. It tells the story of how Sirius Black and Severus Snape ended up together.

**DISCLAIMER:** Songs are property of Babasónicos. The lousy translation is mine. Characters are property of JK Rowling; their unexpected behavior is product of my dirty imagination.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** Chapter titles are translated from the titles of the songs on which chapters are based. Said song is featured at the end of the chapter in the original language. Also, words in _italics _are translated bits from the songs.

CHAPTER 1: Without my devil

SEVERUS pov

It was the loudest party I'd ever been to. They were all good friends. They laughed and flirted freely, while others wasted their sympathy. But I couldn't find my smile. I just couldn't. I made my way through the crowd. I talked to some people, ignored others. And still, I couldn't find my smile.  
"What's the matter with you?" asked Minerva, before I could turn around. "Aren't you happy? He's dead! You're free! Smile, for Merlin's sake!"  
"_I'm sorry, I didn't come with my devil," I answered, blankly. "Truth is, I'm nothing without my devil"._  
She didn't understand a word. I didn't blame her. She didn't know who my devil was and I was not going to tell her.  
_I really am nothing without my devil._

On the other side of the room, somebody cheered with everyone else. He smiled, laughed and toasted. He looked truly happy. But on the inside, he was sulking. His eyes roamed the crowd, trying to find him. His devil. He was sure he'd come. He was also sure he wouldn't find him, no matter how hard he tried. If only the other one knew he, too, was nothing without his devil.

SEVERUS pov

Oh, yes. There he was, my devil, charming people with his perfect smile and his stunning grey eyes. Eyes that, not forty-eight hours before, had been fixed on mine while we…  
I must stop thinking about him. Yet, he looked so wonderful that night, so alive, so free. Free from me, surely. So I hid behind a column where I had good sight of him, and I did nothing but watch my devil. _Truth is, I am nothing without my devil._

"Sin mi diablo" (Babasónicos – Infame)  
La otra noche  
fui a una fiesta insuperable, donde todos  
eran buenos amigos  
se reían  
coqueteaban desenvueltos mientras otros  
gastaban simpatía.

Pero yo  
no encontraba la sonrisa  
¡qué insensato!  
perdonadme es que no fui con mi diablo  
La verdad es que no soy nada sin mi diablo  
¡La verdad es que no soy nada sin mi diablo!

En la corte  
con la reina y su consorte regalando  
colonias en las Indias  
festejaban  
y en el pico de su pedo me invitaban  
a azotar a unos esclavos.

Pero yo  
no encontraba la sonrisa  
¡qué insensato!  
perdonadme es que no fui con mi diablo  
La verdad es que no soy nada sin mi diablo  
¡La verdad es que no soy nada sin mi diablo!

En el baile  
me encontré a Satán desnudo en una suite  
del Sheraton de Rio  
convidaba  
la belleza de sus chicas que excitadas  
vivaban por orgías.

Pero yo  
no encontraba la sonrisa  
¡qué insensato!  
perdonadme es que no fui con mi diablo  
La verdad es que no soy nada sin mi diablo  
¡La verdad es que no soy nada sin mi diablo!


	2. Chapter 2: Charismatic

"The hot ones" Chapter 2: Charismatic

SEVERUS pov

It had all started a week before the final battle. (If you can call the killed-by-his-own-snake-death of the Dark Lord a "final battle", but we'll get to that later). There was an Order meeting at number twelve, Grimmauld Place. I arrived late, not for the first time, since the Dark Lord had been too entertained using the Cruciatus Curse on me to let me go early. I limped to the meeting room (as I had re-named that cold, unwelcoming cellar where we held those gatherings lately) but found it empty, much to my surprise. I looked around —bad decision— and everything started to spin. I tried to regain my balance by holding on to a shelf —another bad decision— only to make it fall along with me. After hitting my head on the cold wooden floor, I heard footsteps rushing in my direction and saw grey eyes—beautiful eyes—filled with concern.

The Order members had just left. He was the only one still there. Of course, it was his house—he would never call it "home". He went to the bathroom and washed his face. The water was as cold as the building. He'd never liked it, not even when he was growing up. He'd always found it unwelcoming.

As he was drying his face with a towel, he heard a loud bang coming from the cellar. Strange, he thought, since all the Order members had left and the wards hadn't alerted him of an intruder. Unless…

He ran up the stairs, praying that he was wrong. The man had missed a meeting for the first time. Dumbledore had dismissed any concern, claiming that Death Eater meetings were probably taking place at the same time. How the headmaster could refer to one of his own men being a Death Eater so nonchalantly had always amazed him.

The moment he saw the figure on the floor, he froze. There were too many things on his mind and he couldn't decide for just one. Aid him, alert Dumbledore, call a mediwitch, call the Order, aid him, aid him.

Finally, he ran to the man's side and kneeled beside him. He was barely conscious and there was blood dripping from his left leg.

"Stay with me, Severus," he said, more to himself than anything. "You'll be alright".

Snape closed his eyes and the other man ran to the fireplace to call for Dumbledore. His hands were shaking and he knew that he was crying, though he wasn't sure why.

"Sirius, my boy, what's the matter?" Albus' head inquired, concerned.

"It's Seve… Snape," he replied, stammering. "I-I… he's hurt".

Sirius stepped back for Dumbledore to come through and took him to where the professor lay. Before the old man could make an assessment, Sirius decided that Severus Snape was not comfortable on the floor. He took out his wand and cast a simple levitation spell to take him to a bed. Once there, he covered him with his best blanket and gently lay his head on a nice, soft pillow.

"My boy, I must see to him now," Albus said. "You will be able to check on him later,"

"Check on him? Why would I want to check on him?"

At that, Sirius turned on his heels and stomped out, all the while thinking, _'I've got to learn to pretend more and not show what I feel.'_

"Carismático" (Babasónicos – Anoche)  
Me pareció ver dos payasos con cara de susto cerrando el local  
Disimulá, llevan los trajes puestos,  
Van para el circo a buscar los camellos.

Lucen un poquito espantados,  
Salidos de un cuadro que se está por borrar.  
Disimulá que están muy transpirados  
Llevan un balde con papel picado.

Tengo que aprender a fingir más,  
Y a no mostrar lo que siento.  
Tengo que aprender a fingir más,  
Y a pilotear lo que pienso.

Trato de acercarme a una puerta  
Y escucho un enjambre de moscas silbar.  
Disimulá, están zumbando mi nombre,  
Debemos irnos y no sé por dónde.

Tengo que aprender a fingir más,  
Y a no mostrar lo que siento.  
Tengo que aprender a fingir más,  
Y a pilotear lo que pienso.

Tengo que aprender a fingir más,  
Y a no mostrar lo que siento.  
Tengo que aprender a fingir más,  
Y a pilotear lo que pienso.

Tengo que aprender a fingir más,  
Y a no mostrar lo que siento.  
Tengo que aprender a fingir más,  
Y a pilotear lo que pienso.

Tengo que aprender a fingir más...  
Tengo que aprender a fingir más...  
Tengo que aprender a fingir más y a pilotear lo que pienso.

Author's Note: words in _italics_ are translated bits from the song.


	3. Chapter 3: Irresponsible

Chapter 3: "Irresponsible"

SEVERUS pov

It was unbearable. I had been stuck in number twelve, Grimmauld Place for a week, with that annoying elf called Kreacher looking after me. I only saw Black once on my way to the bathroom, and I'm quite sure he was deliberately avoiding eye contact with me. Why, though, was beyond my comprehension.

On the eighth day of my stay, I was finally strong enough not to depend on that damn elf. It was morning, so I made my way to the kitchen to make myself some breakfast. As I was pouring milk into a cup, I started to feel dizzy. It happened so fast that I didn't even have time to grab on to anything. The cup fell to the ground and crashed into a hundred pieces. I felt myself begin to fall, yet just before I hit the floor, strong arms wrapped around me and I was pulled onto a chair.

"What's the matter with you?" I heard him ask angrily. "You could have hurt yourself! Where is that damn elf? Kreacher!!!"

I winced, the sound too loud for my sensitive ears, and he noticed, immediately closing his mouth.

"Sorry! Didn't mean to bother," he muttered, checking my injured leg. "Still, you shouldn't have…"

"I just wanted breakfast, Sirius," I said, unaware I'd done so. It wasn't until I saw his imitation of a deer caught in front of the headlights that I actually understood what had come out of my mouth. Petrifaction must have been evident in my face, for he quickly finished with my leg and conjured a broom to clean up the mess.

_Then, little by little, we went mad. The steam of our lust got us drunk with its alcohol. And blame it on the never ending parade! It got us confused. __How irresponsible!_

"Irresponsables" (Babasónicos – Infame)  
Somos culpables de este amor escandaloso  
que el fuego mismo de pasión alimentó  
que en el remanso de la noche impostergable  
nos avergüenza seguir sintiéndolo.

Poco a poco  
fuimos volviéndonos locos.  
Ese vapor de nuestro amor  
nos embriagó con su licor  
y culpa al carnaval interminable.  
Nos hizo confundir  
irresponsables.

Si fuimos carne de la intriga casquivana  
que la imprudencia del rumor hoy desató,  
y descubiertos por la luz de la mañana  
nos castigaron la desidia y el dolor.

Author's Note: words in _italics_ are translated bits from the song.


	4. Chapter 4: So what?

Author's note: words in _italics_ are translated from the song.

Chapter 4: So what?

SEVERUS pov

By dinner time I couldn't face him. After our… encounter, so to speak, I locked myself in the room I'd been assigned and tried everything to forget what had happened. I truly didn't understand where it had come from. Black and I had a long history of reciprocal hatred, everybody knew that. Of course, our differences were mildly dissolved when I saved him from falling through the Veil. I still don't know what led me to that. Perhaps it was the fear I saw in his eyes. Maybe it was Belatrix's deafening maniac laughter. Most probably, it was the pang of fear in my own heart that a good man could die. Whatever it was, I did it, I saved him, giving Potter and Lupin the chance to destroy Lestrange once and for all. Merlin knows I'm grateful for that. With that woman, even killing was obscene.

In spite of the V incident, we still didn't talk to each other. A curt "hello", at most, at Order meetings and that was it. However, I must admit that the more time I spent with him, the warmer I felt towards him. In the weeks following Bella's demise, we were forced to spend more and more time together, since the Order was planning its next move. Quite frequently I arrived late, but always with useful information. Black always watched me when I arrived. He didn't speak, just watched. I wonder whether he was harbouring feelings for me, even back then.

It was dinner time and Severus hadn't come out of his room. Sirius was worried. He was afraid he'd hurt the man. He was still quite weak and they had been pretty rough. However, Sirius knew deep inside that Severus' absence had nothing to do with the injury in his leg. In fact, he knew it had everything to do with what happened in the kitchen—on the kitchen table, to be exact. Sirius hoped that Severus would come down to have dinner and give him a chance to discuss it. He was sure it wouldn't happen, but he could still hope, like he had, after the Veil incident, when his teenage crush on Snape had developed into something more.

SEVERUS pov

My stomach was preventing me from falling asleep. Too noisy. I could deal with the hunger, not the noise. I cast a time charm. It was two o'clock in the morning. Black must be asleep, I thought. Just in case, I was extra careful, checking every corner with every step. I managed to get to the kitchen safe and sound. I opened the fridge door and my eyes landed on a plate covered with a paper napkin and a sign that read "Snivellus". I smiled faintly and lifted the napkin. Black had spared a sandwich for me. Sweet, I thought. Yet I overlooked it and went for some old-looking rice, and heated it with a spell. I was about to take a spoonful when I heard that sinfully delicious voice.

"We had sex," he stated.

I didn't even turn around. _"So what? I've nothing to say to you."_

"Nothing?"

"Nothing."

"Oh, yeah? So what?"

He spun me around so fiercely I thought I might tumble if his arms weren't wrapped around my waist.

"So what?"he whispered in my ear, holding me in an uncomfortably pleasant way.

Oh, yeah. So what? So what?

"Y que?" (Babasónicos – Infame)  
Oh, sí  
estoy mirando a tu novia, ¿y qué?  
no tengo nada que decirte  
ella me gusta y yo a ella también  
oh sí... ¿y qué? ¿y qué?

Ahhhh… Nada.


	5. Chapter 5: Now you're talking

Chapter 5: "Now you're talking"

SEVERUS pov

It was ridiculous. I hated the man. Well, sort of hated him. Actually, I didn't hate him anymore, but I had most of my life. Oh, alright! It was more like resentment. Anyway, we'd never been too close. There was no way we could suddenly… No, no way.

"What are you thinking?" he asked, lying on his side so he could face me.

I shrugged. There was really nothing to say.

"Come on. Give," he insisted.

"Alright." I sighed. And the rambling began.

It was amazing how that man could speak for such a long time after being shagged silly. Sirius was just dazzled. He wasn't even listening to the words. The voice alone was doing enough for him.

_"…I don't know. Maybe I'm not protected against rabies. Maybe I was ill-fucked and that's why I can't buy this… charade! Come on! I want an explanation!_ How could this happen?"

Sirius sat on the bed and reached out for Severus. The austere man shot a dirty glance at him and gave an exasperated sigh, sitting at the foot of the bed.

"Answer me, Black! How could this happen?"

"It happened because we wanted it to," said Sirius, crawling behind Snape and wrapping his arms around the man's waist. "You wanted it…" a little kiss on the neck, "I wanted it…" a lick behind the ear, "We wanted it."

"Oh, I see."

"Así se habla" (Babasónicos – Anoche)  
¿Será tu educación cristiana ver fantasmas en todas partes?  
¿Será tu adversión social lo que te aleja de los bares?  
vamos, quiero una explicación.

¿Será tu condición racial o tu lugar de privilegio?  
¿Será trabajar cabrón para ganar como un pendejo?  
vamos, quiero una explicación  
vamos, quiero una explicación

¿Será que mi obra social no me proteje de la rabia?  
¿Será que me cogieron mal que no me trago la charada?

Vamos, quiero una explicación  
vamos, quiero una explicación  
vamos, quiero una explicación  
vamos, quiero una explicación


	6. Chapter 6: By yourself

Chapter 6: "By yourself"

After that night, Severus was strong enough to go back to Hogwarts. Sirius was still in hiding at number twelve, Grimmauld Place and was not allowed to go out. It was murder, he thought. Not being close to his devil (as they had nicknamed each other) was almost unbearable. Almost.

The Order had agreed not to meet again. They had already decided on a plan of action. Severus would let them know when Voldemort planned to attack, and they would ambush him… or "it", whichever you wish. Little did they know that Severus' next and last report wouldn't be of an attack. Three nights after he'd gone back to Hogwarts, and while correcting essays, he'd felt a piercing pain coming from his Mark. He watched, half horrified, half relieved, as the Dark Mark burnt and faded from his skin. Immediately, and like any loyal Death Eater would do, he appeared at Malfoy Manor—where their previous meetings had been held— and came upon a petrified group of Death Eaters. He made his way through the crowd only to find Nagini devouring the limp body of her master.

SEVERUS pov

Nobody knows why Nagini did it. Lucius told me that Voldemort had not been very attentive to her in the previous days, and had even used the Cruciatus Curse her. He was torturing McNair when Nagini jumped on him and bit him in the neck. Poor Tom Riddle fell cold to the ground and then… well, we know the rest.

The Death Eaters weren't nearly as heart-broken as I'd thought they would be. In fact, most of them were pleased to find themselves free to start a new life. They—we—agreed to tell the Ministry we'd been under the Imperius Curse until the Dark Lord's demise. Providing that the most dangerous of us —Lestrange was one of them—were dead, most of us got away with it. Some were sentenced to a few years in Azkaban, but no one was given more than five years.

And there I was, at that party. I didn't dare talk to him. After all, he hadn't contacted me since… Maybe I was right and it was not more than sex. I wished I was wrong.

Sirius kept talking to Harry and Remus. He knew very well that Severus was watching him. But he wouldn't make the first move this time. He had it all planned. _I'm planning on not telling you anything. A look, a smile, and I'll hide until you realize, by yourself, that you like me, that you're confused, that you're in love with a guy like me._

"Solita" (Babasónicos – Anoche)  
Sé tu nombre hasta cuando sueño,  
sé que en ellos no sabes quien soy.  
Sé cuándo, a qué hora, dónde y cómo te gusta  
también sé que la sorpresa es para vos.  
Tengo pensado no decirte nada  
mirarte, una sonrisa y esconderme  
hasta que vos

Solita te des cuenta que te gusto,  
que estabas confundida en la pavada total,  
que estás enamorada de un chico como yo.

Sé tu nombre hasta cuando sueño,  
sé que en ellos no sabes quien soy.  
Se cuándo, a qué hora, dónde y cómo te gusta,  
también sé que la sorpresa es para vos.  
Tengo pensado no decirte nada  
mirarte, una sonrisa y esconderme  
hasta que vos...

Solita te des cuenta que te gusto,  
que estabas confundida en la pavada total,  
que estás enamorada de un chico como yo.

Tengo pensado no decirte nada  
mirarte, una sonrisa y esconderme  
hasta que vos

Solita te des cuenta que te gusto,  
que estabas confundida en la pavada total,  
que estás enamorada de un chico como yo

que estás enamorada de un chico como yo  
que estás enamorada de un chico como yo  
que estás enamorada de un chico como yo

nena estás enamorada de un chico como yo!


	7. Chapter 7: Your turn

Chapter 7: "Your Turn"

SEVERUS pov

Damn that man! He just kept talking to those two, laughing and enjoying himself. How dare he? After everything we've done!

I don't know where I got the courage from. Must have been all those Bloody Marys I drank. As it was, I made my way to him, shoved Potter and Lupin out of my way, and pinned my devil against the wall.

"_I wanna shag with you,_" I whispered in his ear and felt him shiver.

He smiled cheekily, as if he'd been expecting it. He took my hand, left his drink on the table and nodded to his friends.

"Don't wait up," he said, and turned to me. "Do you really want to shag?"

Drunk as I was, I managed to answer, "_Wanna, wanna, wanna, wanna._"

"Suturno" (Babasónicos – Infame)  
Quiero revolcarme con vos.  
(Quiero revolcarme con vos.)

Quiero revolcarme con vos.  
(Quiero, quiero, quiero, quiero.)

Quiero revolcarme con vos.  
(Quiero revolcarme con vos.)

Quiero revolcarme con vos.  
(Quiero, quiero, quiero, quiero.)

Culo duro  
Piernas largas  
Tetas rojas  
Labios  
Copular

Nalgas rosas  
Pelos rubia  
Boca roja  
Sexo  
Copular

Quiero huir con vos, llevame lejos...  
Quiero huir con vos (para estar con vos), llevame lejos (estas cachonda).

Quiero huir con vos, llevame lejos. (llevame lejos)  
Quiero huir con vos (para estar con vos), llevame lejos (estas cachonda).

Nunca me han besado tan fogosamente.  
Nunca había encarnado la pasión.  
Mientras me derrito como mantequilla  
toco y acaricio el esplendor.

(Para estar con vos)  
Nunca me han besado tan fogosamente  
(Estas cachonda)  
Nunca había encarnado la pasión.  
(Para estar con vos)  
Mientras me derrito como mantequilla  
(Estas cachonda)  
toco y acaricio el esplendor.

THE END!


End file.
